Well I had really given up on this blog but I had make a little come back to share the news about www.iheartadoption.com. Check it out. So cute and so helpful to so many. I love it!

A rose can say I Love You,

Orchids can enthrall;

But a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,

Oh my, that says it all!...

Roberta I. Teague

Dolls for Amazima

I know a lot of you are fans of Katie and her work in Uganda. But, have you heard about this project? The goal is 350 dolls. One for each child in the program. I just signed up to do 10 and I'm not that crafty. I bet you can do even more than 10 - check it out.

my pretty little baby

two

Sam is two years old. He's so much fun.
Some examples:

right now he calls everyone honey, and he says it just like an old grammy would, it is adorable.

when we put on his socks and/or shoes he always says "bye bye toes, see you later"

after a song plays that Sam loves he will say "that was fun, more song" and it makes me think, that really was fun and I realize again how lucky I am to know him.



two is also the number of sons we hope to have one day soon.

these boys are the best

some fun

While in Florida I joined a fabulous little club. The cocktail club. Members: me, Doug, my sister (Katie), my mom (Rosie), my dad (Bill), my aunt Peggy and my uncle Jerry. Every day one of us would make a different drink for everyone at happy hour. Our motto, or mantra as it were, we pour at four. It was a great club, great fun. My aunt referred to it as Happy Time and it was. One afternoon Single Ladies came on the radio during Happy Time. I told my aunt and mom that I would give them $5 if they could name the artist singing. Do you know what my mom guessed? You'll never believe it but its true. She guessed Michael Jackson. MICHAEL JACKSON! Seriously. With a straight face that was her guess. I laughed so hard that I almost peed in my pants. I got to keep my $5 that day.

Books

This week I ordered two great books. I can't wait to get them!! I love books and both of these look fantastic! A couple days ago I bought the already famous From Ashes to Africa. I've heard that it is a must-read, can't put it down kind of book. I can't wait!!
This morning I ordered a very early Sammy Day present and I couldn't be happier about the purchase. The book looks beautiful and will be a perfect gift for Sam. Also all the profits from this book will go to Hanna the director of Children's Haven in Addis Ababa. Please check out Ethiopian Orphan Relief's blog to read more about this. You can order your own copy in their store.

It's freezing here in our town. Poor Sam has been quite sick (again) this week and we are both suffering from cabin fever. Yesterday he looked at me so sadly with his little snot covered face and said "Go? Go!" and when I opened the front door to get the mail his whole face lit up and he said "YEAH! YEAH!"!! He was so sad when I closed the door. We just like to be out and about. Thank goodness we are heading to Florida soon to visit my mom and dad who are spending a few months there this winter. My mom tells me that my dad looks better every day so we are grateful for that.

OK time for you to go shopping! Go check out these two great books!!

Melkam Ganna!!

Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope everyone has a great Ethiopian Christmas celebration today or sometime this week. I'm really excited about the posibility of celebrating on Sunday with some adoptive families in our area. I hope that it works out but even if it doesn't, it is fun to keep the holidays going into January! OK, I did take the tree down already but it had to be done. We have a present for Sam to open today and a few things going on later in the week. What is everyone else doing to celebrate?

Well, Melkam Ganna or is it Melkin Yelidet Beaal? Either way, Merry Christmas again!

Tanta Claus is coming to town!

Happy Holidays!!

getting better

So we survived Thanksgiving. But, it wasn't our best to be sure. Monday night before Thanksgiving we put Sam to bed like we normally do. We heard a little something from his room, like a cough but not much and he was quiet again right away. About a half hour later I peeked in on him, poor baby. He was covered in puke. His room smelled terrible. We got him up, gave him another bath, changed his sheets, got the back up blankey and teddy and put him back to bed. When I checked on him 15-20 minutes later it was the same! Covered in puke again. For the next 4 - 5 days we dealt with the worst stomach flu. It was so gross and also pretty scary. I'll spare you the details. I'm just glad we are about back to normal here.

My dad is also doing pretty well. Thank you to all of you for prayers, well-wishes, and for checking in to see how he is. It really means so much to me! He only had to be hospitalized for short time and the last week has been really good for him. He had one scan done and his tumor has shrunk! We were so thrilled to get that news. He has lost all of his hair. I haven't seen him in person since he lost it because we were sick and with his white blood cell count lowered, we had to stay away. But, when Sam saw the picture of my bald dad, he smiled big and said, OH Papa! I'm glad that it doesn't seem to bother Sammy at all. He starts the "rough" chemo again next week. We welcome any prayers you can spare.

Even though I'm a terrible blogger, I'm trying to keep at it because I love people in blogland. One early New Years Resolution will be to be a better blogger. I really hope to meet some of you this year at one of the get-togethers.

I'm In!! Are you?

Hurry over to Amy's blog before its too late. This is so exciting for a number of reasons! One worth mentioning is how cool it is to be working together for the children of Ethiopia. Sign up by Monday to be part of the team.

Behind in Blogging and Tagged

I'm actually behind in everything. It's been such a crazy month but I've got some time today while Sam is sleeping so I'm trying to catch up.

Stacie tagged me a week or two ago (thanks Stacie :)) so here are 7 random things about myself.

1. My favorite poems are "i carry your heart" by e.e. cummings and "The Cremation of Sam McGee" by Robert Service. I love the ee cummings poem, it is what love looks like to me. I whisper it to Sam sometimes when I'm rocking him before bed. I grew up hearing my dad and uncles tell us of "The Cremation of Sam McGee" and I can hear them reciting it perfectly in my mind. This poem makes it almost possible for me to travel years back in time and once again be at my grandma's house. I love it for that.

2. I have lived in every 4-letter state.

3. I love Degas and Mary Murphy and I've seen Mikhail Baryshnikov perform live and it made me cry.

4. I love to read and sometimes when I read something extra special, I copy it into my journal. Even if I own the book or could easily print the extra special something, I like to write it out in my journal. Here's an example, it's Francie's prayer from "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn": "Dear God," she prayed, "let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere--be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost." Certainly my journal is better for that.

5. I cannot sing at all. Seriously. But sometimes that doesn't stop me. Not long ago Doug and I were driving and I just couldn't stop myself from singing Beyonce's "To the Left". so catchy

6. A few years ago I visited Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. It really messed me up. Its hard to believe that people are capable of that kind of evil. It really did change me to see the things I saw there. An important place.

7. I LOVE wine, yoga, my family, Cambodia, my neighborhood and hearing the voice of the Lord.

My neighborhood:

I tag: Paige, Amy, Jocelyn, Sam, and Laura. If you've already been tagged or you're just not into it, no problem!

Thanks so much to everyone praying for and thinking about my dad. He had an MRI done this week to check his brain. I'm counting on that being OK. He FINALLY starts chemo and radiation on Monday.

Now, I'm off to read your blog. See you there.

seriously. unbelievable. seriously.

Sam can say seriously now. Well, sort of, and it is so cute. I think he learned to say it because I've said it maybe 1000 times this week. Seriously. It is because this has been the most unbelievable week. I still kind of don't even believe it myself which is probably why I keep saying seriously. It was a rough week to be sure but then the weekend happened and well, now its just the craziest week of my life.

Doug got shot in the neck on Saturday. By a gang member. With a real gun. On Saturday morning, before noon. Seriously. He's totally fine. He even drove home. The bullet just grazed his neck. But still, my husband, got shot in the neck. seriously.

We were doing some community service. We got together with my sister and some friends and bought 20 bags of staple groceries for some families on the other side of town. We delivered the groceries and had a really great time meeting these families. We finished delivering a bit early so the coordinators of the whole service project said we could help out another team doing some clean up on the street. So there we were, my husband, my sister, a bunch of friends & Sammy, working away when some "gang bangers" did a drive by. Seriously. I was holding Sam, standing just a few feet away from Doug when he got hit. It was so crazy, we thought it was fireworks at first. Doug yelled some bad word not fit for family blogs, shook it off and started getting back to work. I looked over at him and his neck was bleeding. Next thing you know, the police are there. They took a look at Doug's neck, told us a little about who the trouble-makers were, started writing a report, and more shots go off just down the street. The police take off running, someone says, "that's it, its over, get the baby in the car, go home" and so we do. Just like that. Seriously.

The whole way home we kept saying stuff like Holy S*&T, you just got shot in the neck, and then for some reason we'd just start laughing. I laughed most of the day about it. It was just too crazy to be real. When we got home, Sam's diaper needed to be changed and Doug says, "can you do it? 'cause I just got shot. in the neck" which made me laugh even more.

The whole shooting has actually turned out to be a good thing. It was a great comic relief for a day, which even though totally innappropriate, was totally needed. I really needed something to snap my mind out of the worry fog that I was in. And Doug getting shot in the neck did the trick.

And more seriously, it has done wonders for changing my perspective and bringing me back to reality. Reality is most people aren't fortunate enough to live like I do. Reality for most of the world isn't just about getting together with friends and family dinners and vacations and going to the park. And even though I know better, I forget, and my world gets small again, and I'm out of touch with reality.

So, I'm thankful. Thankful for my dad, for my husband, and my son, who are all alive today and happy. And I'm thankful that I have this day to show them that I love them. I'm thankful to be in a position to help, to be an advocate for, and to love people, close to home and around the world that just live in a different reality than mine. A real tragedy would be to go through life out of touch with the bigger picture, the real picture.

The only real draw back to the shooting incident is now I have to deal with Doug's foolishness. He now refers to himself as street, gansta, thug-life and more innappropriate for family blogs type things. I'm afraid he's going to ask me to call him Big Poppa soon and that will just be crossing the line.
***just to clarify, I don't think violence is funny under normal cirucmstances, nor have I ever before laughed about someone getting shot. Just my husband.

happier things

Lung Cancer - Stage 3

I'm so stupid. I thought I'd feel better once I knew what was going on.

dad

My dad is the best man I know. Seriously, he is a person that you want to be friends with, someone you'd be lucky to have in your corner. He's taught me the best lessons. Like, "it all comes home to you" and "the whole world hates a liar and a thief". He has taught me through example and through his words that the whole world loves and respects a hard worker, a kind word, a warm smile, a strong constitution. He has shown me the secret happiness of being a giver. He told me once, "Jenny, you are going to spend your money somewhere, it may as well be for someone you love." Yesterday Doug said of my dad, "if he only had a dollar and you needed it, somehow he'd find a way to give you two." And not only that, it would be his joy to do so. Never would you feel like a burden or obligation even if you weren't his daughter. I'm not sure that my dad has ever met a stranger. He is a poet and a story-teller and one who laughs and listens to your stories. He is warm and kind and strong and funny. A great night of entertainment for him would be sitting around, telling stories, maybe singing a few songs, telling some tall tales and having a beer or two. Everyone I know loves my dad. There really is no one like him.

Humor, hard-working, capable, athletic, generous, good-looking, loving, kind, these are the words that I want to use when I speak about my dad.

Not pulmonologist, oncologist, lymph node biopsy, prognosis, further-testing. But these are the words I have to use right now when speaking about my dad. And it makes me so sad that my whole body shakes when I cry, and so scared that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.

This blog is All About Sam, and so is this post because Sam NEEDS his PaPa. I thought the worst wait of my life was waiting to bring Sam home. I was wrong. It is waiting to find out how sick his PaPa is. Please, if you read this, and you pray, please pray for Sam's PaPa, please pray for my dad.

Enkutatash

Melkam Addis Amet!

Happy Ethiopian New Year! I hope that everyone gets to have at least a little celebration today or this weekend for Ethiopian New Year. We are going to miss the celebration in our community this weekend and we are really bummed out about that. Maybe we'll at least get dinner at the Blue Nile tonight in honor of the holiday.

I have to say, I think Ethiopia has got this one right. For me, the fall feels much more like a time of new beginings than January. Maybe its the back to school feeling of it all but if there was ever a time I'd be motivated for resolutions, it is in September. I haven't got it all sorted out in my mind yet but when I do maybe I'll post my resolutions for this new year.

labor day at MiMi and PaPa's house

My parents may be the greatest grandparents in the world. It's awesome how much they love their five grandchildren. They love to spoil these kids. They've got more toys at their house then we do at ours. The kids especially love these riding toys. Sam is not quite big enough to drive one on his own yet so he was dependant on his older cousin when riding in the green machine. In the red truck Doug would run along side Sam and hold down the "gas pedal". Sam wanted to do that all day long. The picture of Sammy in the red truck cracks us up. He just kept making that sign, "again, again". My dad also just hung a tire swing in the back yard. This gives my sister fits because she's worried that someone will get hurt but the rest of us love it. I feel so lucky to have the family I do. We've been home two days and Sam is still walking around saying papa papa.

a favorite

so big and shopping

My little sam is becoming a little man. It's an exciting time because it seems like everyday he does something new. He now says: daddy, momma, baby, up, hot, what, what's up, hi, hey, Emma, bye, wheel, ball and apple. This is a huge improvement! He signs: eat, more/again, all done and bird. He also waves, does so-big and the hand motions for itsy-bitsy spider (which is the cutest thing ever). He walks all the time now. Climbs the stairs with just one foot on each stair and is starting to feed himself with a spoon. Check it out:

I have to thank Help Me Grow for all of this. They've been helping us since the begining. I've also been doing a little shopping. How cute is this little political statement?

I bought it here.

I also bought a shirt here.

And as soon as possible I'm going to do some shopping at Ethiopia Oraphan Relief's store. You should too! :)

One Year Together

Tomorrow is Aug 11. We picked up Samuel from the Thomas Center Aug 11, 2007. What an incredible year. We spent the weekend celebrating. Sam got a couple presents.

We also found this little "cozy coupe" at Once Upon a Child and since the price was right and since Sam screamed with delight seeing it and with ultimate sadness being taken out of it, we bought it.

We also had cake with some friends and dinner at the Blue Nile. It's been a great weekend and a great year.

I don't think I can describe what it is like to have Sam in our lives. Someone said when you are a mom your heart lives outside your body. That's very true. But its also a better heart now, a bigger one, a happier one. We're so lucky to have so much laughter in our lives. Hopefully I can post a little example here:

so sweet

Iowa for the 4th of July

We had a great family reunion in Iowa. We drove 10 hours with Sam and my 5-month old nephew in the car. They did great which was incredible. Also, Sam has started to take some steps. Yesterday he took 8 steps in a row. Exciting!!

a little book lover

Samuel loves books. He loves it when we read to him. He also just loves to look through books on his own. I've also caught him giving his books kisses.

teeth!

Sammy is getting teeth. Lots of teeth. He's been working on these beauties a long time. Sam didn't get his first tooth until just before his first birthday. Now he has 2 big teeth and 4 more about to poke through. I feel sorry for his puffy gums. He is taking it like a champ though. Sammy had the most fabulous toothless grin and I worried that I would miss it forever. This one is just as good!

my baby is one year old!

My baby is one! Incredible! Truly, I can't tell you how amazing this is. I mean, really, I can't. I'm not a writer, I'm just not. First of all I can't spell and secondly, I just make up my own rules for grammer and the like. I know, terrible. Even more, I'm just not a good communicator when its all typed out. Not at all. You know like Lori or Katy or Stacie (to name just a few) who have a way of writing and you're there with them, you understand completely, you can see it in your mind. Love that in people. I either write (and say for that matter) way too much or just not enough to get the picture across. Normally, I'm OK with that. Love the gift in others, ok not to have it myself. Today I wish I had that gift. I wish I could tell you what it is for me to be the mom of this incredible baby who is growing up so fast. I wish that I could because there was a time, a really long time actually, that I really believed that I would never be a mom. And that was sad. It was really sad and really hard to feel like God and the universe had set his/its will against you from ever being a mom, from ever hearing mama. And now, I have Sammy and he's one year old, in our home for eight months now. How do I describe what that is like? How foolish I feel for the time that I spent feeling sorry for myself, How humbled I am to be mama or, more acurately, mommommom. I don't know much for sure but I really think that God is. And He is good to a fool like me that couldn't say that when she was feeling sorry for herself in her short-sightedness. The truth is, and I'm ashamed to admit this, I didn't have a lot of faith. But, it seems to me to be OK because God did, He was faithful. I guess that's grace and for sure, it is beautiful. I'm not a very religious person, but I am overcome with gratitude to have this amazing baby who is already one year old now. You see, I've already said too much and not enough all at the same time. Here's some pics of the lovely Sam.

Parenting Without Guilt

Doug and I started a parenting class by this name last week. So far, I really like it. The family counselor teaching the class says that parents, now more than ever, are terrified of screwing up their children. I am certainly a little nervous about it. Last August I looked Sam's beautiful birth-mother in the eyes and swore to her that I would take the best possible care of her/our son. I want to keep that promise more than I've ever wanted to keep any promise in my life.

Happiness was the first topic covered in the class. According to the counselor, our children will be happy if they have two things: Good Relationships and Gratitude. I've been thinking about that a lot and I think that I agree. The teacher said we could teach our children gratitude by example and by letting them develop a sense of longing. So for practice as to be a good example to Sammy here are a few of the things I'm grateful for today...

the lilac bush by my window is starting to bud

we've been able to take a walk every day this week - the weather has been so nice

Sam got a zoo pass for his 1st birthday which is next week

Doug and I are going to cook tonight for his birthday which is tomorrow

Sam and I spent the early part of this week with my family and my darling niece Trinity

this morning Sam slept in until almost 7:30 (he's normally up at 7 sharp) I laid in bed thinking about how lucky I am to know him and his daddy

Sam is getting his first tooth

I have such a great life! I am very grateful!

the fake smile

Sam is sleeping and Doug is out so I'm using this time to share some more pictures of Sam.

Here's the great fake smile

And here is another

And here is the latest version of the fake smile

he is the cutest, sweetest boy I know.